The Fifth Post

If you're wondering, yeah, I have a headache. But on the other hand, this little one sided exchange is becoming rather habitual. I am finding that I kind of like it. My hope is that I will find the courage to finally clear my conscience of what I've done so I can move on with my life...or turn myself in.

I'm finding myself more and more paranoid as time goes on. I am on the second floor of this hotel and I constantly look out the window to see who might be watching. A man stood in the parking lot for some time a couple of day s ago just watching the building. I don't know if he was watching me or not -- it was dark. I have a bad feeling that I've gotten into something far bigger than just a little revenge.

Let me back up a little here. First, there was Tara. I don't know what it was that drew us together, but we met while watching a movie at the Cinemark in Tulsa at 71st and highway 169. It was Disturbia, of all things. Not a bad remake of Rear Window, to be honest. We got a taste of the kid from Transformers before that movie hit in the summer. Anyway, the theatre was dark and people were walking around, and we just ended up sitting next to each other. Simple as that. No real fanfare or anything. I had popcorn and she didn't.

I thought it was that simple, anyway. I still can't wrap my mind around how complex her situation was by the time she ended up in that house watching that movie. She was actually supposed to have been in the theatre for The Reaping, but she changed her mind. I wish I could explain that, but it won't make any sense. None of this makes any sense.

Anyway, she asked if she could swipe some popcorn, asked what I knew about the movie, that sort of thing. I make a point never to learn more than what the trailer gives before watching a movie, and I knew very little about this one in that way. I quickly caught the Rear Window similarity, though, and pointed that out. I couldn't believe she'd actually seen it. Most people don't watch movies from before they were born for some reason, but she was really well versed. She liked Alfred Hitchcock and Jimmy Stewart which led her to watch Rear Window some years before. Yeah, years. She was only 23, but she saw Rear Window long before this Disturbia came out.

That was April -- eight months ago. Exactly, as a matter of fact. It was April 19th. If I'd known what was going to happen, maybe I wouldn't have offered my number. She didn't offer hers. I was the one forthcoming with information. When I didn't get hers, I figured my number was in the trash by the door, but two days later, she called. She sounded desperate. She wanted to meet me at Wal-Mart 53 and asked if I understood her. It was a bizarre reference, but having lived in Broken Arrow my entire life, I actually knew what she was talking about. I tried to clarify, but she cut me off only asking if I understood her. I said I did, and she hung up.

Wal-Mart 53 isn't a Wal-Mart at all; not anymore, anyway. Store #53 was at 71st & Elm (across the street from that McDonald's) until the late 80's (87 or 88) when they closed that store due to the new Wal-Mart (#472, if you're trying to keep track) which opened at 71st & County Line in 1986. Today, the building is called ELH, and for the life of me I don't know what goes on there. Regardless, I knew what she was talking about and met her in front of that building.

She was on foot, so I figured she lived somewhere close to there. I pulled up and as soon as I got out of the car, she jumped in and told me to drive. I asked her where, but she said just get out of the parking lot and drive. I went west.

I could quickly see this wasn't a date, and as casually as I could, I asked what was going on. I noticed she was ducked down in the seat, like she was hiding. She said it wasn't important, but then commented that her dad had had too much to drink and was in an angry mood. I remember being sympathetic, but wasn't sure I actually believed her at the time. Seemed pretty important to me to blow off initially, and then just say it. As trouble as I've had getting to the point here, I would have thought anyone else would have that kind of problem, especially with an alcoholic parent, but she just said it like it was nothing.

I learned later she lied to me.